Medical Sullie Update 2

I was back in Muskegon yesterday for my 2nd round of probulating. If you follow me on Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, or Facebook, you can see the progression of pictures: Freaked Out and Crying, Drugs Kicking In, Just Waking Up, and Almost Functional.

The surgeon called me today to tell me my full results won’t be back in until Monday or Tuesday.

Meanwhile, I’m back in Ann Arbor. I want to see my pupper, and talk to Estranged/Ex Spouse about health insurance stuff, and see about getting rid of the Taurus that I wrecked in May. It’s been sitting in an impound lot for about 6 months now.

Speaking of 6 months.

I turned 31 on May 3rd. That was 6 months ago. And I’ve decided that I’m going to make every November 3rd its own sort of observance. I’m calling it Mortality Day. Instead of celebrating my birth, this is the day I set aside to contemplate my death.

What would happen if my CIN2 situation upgraded to cervical cancer, for example? Or what if I’m not even lucky enough to see it coming, what if I die in a traffic accident? What do I need to do to get ready for death? Legal documents, sure, but what about the human element? Who do I owe apologies to? Do my loved ones know they’re my loved ones?

What projects have I left unfinished? What destinations have I left un-visited?

It’s a little morbid, maybe. But this year, I feel like I’ve had so many brushes with death, it’s time I stop letting it catch me by surprise.

Medical Sullie Update

The results of my biopsy are in and … I need another biopsy. Woo.

The nurse told me I have CIN2 which you can read about here so I don’t have to try and fail to explain it – https://g.co/kgs/pC0jCo

Short version, it’s not cancer but it could be, which is why I need more scooping.

Right now I’m waiting for the doctor to tell me how soon I need to go back to Muskegon. This time, twilight sedation will not be enough, I’ll need to be admitted to a hospital and go all the way under. Step aside, Valium, this is a job for … well for something stronger, but I don’t know what they’ll use on me.

This is not how I pictured vanlife going. I don’t want to bounce back to Muskegon every few weeks to get probulated, and then cry in my van alone. It’s been so good to be around friends these last couple weeks since I launched. I’ve been painting! And drinking! And singing!

I’m scared and angry and impatient.

 

So, no pressure, as usual nothing is expected and everything is appreciated. If you wanted to drop a dollar in my virtual hat, I will use that money for fuel and for distracting myself with chocolate. I’m not exactly in the jolliest of moods to be making balloon animals on the street, as was my original plan. Please and thank you. paypal.me/smkovac